Monday, July 21, 2008
well my dearest fren is in love...feel so happy for her =D
things patched up between me and her but still there's a gap that yet to be close...she's also attached...am glad...
sad to say am so stress up within me...
1:22 AM
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Had a talk with him through msn on tue nite...
well we didnt really rake up last sat incident...
He was saying that I'm tinking too much and yes I believe I am...
staying in my current workplace somehw or rather affected me...like I say I've phobia...phobia naturally brings about negative thinking which also somwhw or rather affected the relation between me & Alex...
He wants me to resign from my current workplace so that the two of us can go further together...I was thinking bout it during our msn conversation and I think I shld not stay on...I'm giving myself till next year cos I wanna complete my stupid p.c. course first before I leave for another job...
From the conversation I know he's serious bout our r/s...
nobody is perfect and we both forgive and forget each other...
emm but still I didnt forget what happen on last sat...
cos putting myself in his position I know what would come first for me...
I'm not saying that frens are not important but when I compare it between a dinner with bf's family and going clubbing with frens definately I think bf's family dinner comes first...cos we can club anytime and I will explain to my frens and I believe they will understand...
whatever it is everything just show hw important I am to him when being compared...
still I decide to forgive n forget...
10:27 AM
Monday, May 12, 2008
Cobweb on my blog I guess...but anyway life still goes on for me...
woke up early on sat morning...prepare sushi and went out at 1+pm to meet him for window shopping...he's just done with his exam and I'm fully aware of hw tired he is...coincidently my family's having mother's day dinner on this same day and I told him if he's tired he can choose not to join us...but still he decided to join...
reached dinner place at 8+pm and yet the food are not ready yet despite my family placed the order an hour ago...so we decide to change location cos no point waiting for so long and the other table who came later are served with their food first...wth
in my sis car he said "I'm actually late cos I'm meeting my frens at zouk and tics get sold out very early" of cos my sis would ask "that means you need to go off now?"...he said "YA"...shocked!!!...at that very moment I really felt the unimportance of me...his frens and clubbing is more important than me???...I mean its not that I dun allow him to go club and I know he needs to release stress after his exam but bcos I felt that its not very nice to leave inbetween...
I'm still not feeling good in me now cos what happened already showed what is important and what comes first...
I'm nve gonna be in his top 3 list...
11:11 AM
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Here to clean up the spider web!...hahaha...
I'm into the 4th month with him...but however the shadow seems to be following me...
I'm worrying that history will repeat itself again...worrying about this and that...wth!!!...Sometimes I would tell myself what will happen will happen...no matter how hard I think bout it also no use so y not I enjoy life instead...
But hours later or the next day and there comes my worries again...
This kind of life is so sickening...I hate it....
11:37 PM
Friday, December 14, 2007
Havent been updating for the past 1mth+...
Life is different now...its no longer bout him any more...
its all bout me myself and I...living for myself...
All thanks to 3 persons who helped me stand up...they make me realised the whole world isn't just bout him and I deserve someone better...
Though tears might still flow when his relatives tried to check up things bout us from me...but still I will stand strong and nve allow myself to fall back...I will live a better life...
No matter hw nice u gonna treat me nw can nve cover up the fact that hw deep u had hurt me...no matter wat all that had happened will nve be wash off from my brain...the painful memories shall live in me for as long as I live...
Thanks Alex for standing by me...
Thanks ling for always brain washing me at that period of time...
Thanks dan for proving that one can find someone better and live a happily ever after
I'm nw attached..
so glad I met him..his love care & concern I know and I feel it..
2:03 AM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Day 50 Without Don Lim
i watched him slept next to me in the car..
1:04 AM
Monday, October 22, 2007
Day 48 (22/10/2007) Without Don Lim
Yesterday night had the urge of seeing him and decided to surprise him by going down to his house to pass him something that I bought for him..took a train and reached there about 9+pm went to his house car park and realised his car wasnt around..that didnt stop me and I decided to wait for him..watched the vehicles and human traffic goes pass me..
its the Power Of Love..
Untill about 1am decided to give him a call to see if he's home..he picked up, he just reached home..told him to come down for a moment..he asked me (Q) "y did u wait for so long?" (A) "cos I miss u..I wanna see u so much"..
I know he doesnt want me to stay till so late just to wait for him and I know he doesnt want me to waste money too..but still because of loving him I cant seem to be able to control myself..
3hrs 15min in exchange for a few mintues with u..I'm willing cos I get to see u and seeing u make by day..
11:11 PM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Day 46 (20/10/2007) Without Don Lim
Wasn't feeling really gd 2day cos yesterday I angered him and it affected me untill now..I really didnt mean to be rude..I'm only out to disturb him..
I feel so bad..
12:50 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Day 43 (17/10/2007) Without Don Lim
Couldnt sleep yesterday..he was in my mind throughout..the moment I close my eyes its him..when I open up my eyes its still him..haiz..only manage to fall asleep at 4+am..after falling asleep I had dream..dreamt about him..was tat sleeping I doubt so..
I told myself I will nve log into friendster again..tats because I know I will be affected and my face will show all the unhappiness I had..I dun want my facial expression to tell him tat I'm sad cos by doing so we cannot improve..
Nwadays I loves tue wed thur cos its when I would be able to see him..hv lunch with him..communicate with him and also a chance for me to glaze at him untill I'm totally lose in his world..I just loves him more and more each day..and the fact tat I will be there for him whenever he need me..24/7..
2day went for lunch with him his Mummy & his Auntie..didnt ate much and I was watching him eat..aww I miss seeing him eat too..I shed 2 drops of tear but I looked away cos I didnt 1 him 2 see it..it just hurt me so much..
I miss everything and most importantly I loves him so much..I wanna be with him..I wanna spend the rest of my life with him..
My dvd player against me too..but I bought a new 1 with him 2day..I'll treasure this dvd player..tink I'm nut..haiz..
I'm still upset and yet I'm also tired by those acting I had to do each day..
I miss the kisses we had..
11:20 PM
Monday, October 15, 2007
Day 41 (15/10/2007) Without Don Lim
After so many days I finally logged into friendster..
And yes new pictures were posted and yet again I felt terrible..I know I shouldnt log in but I thought I would be able to control my emotion so I log in..guess I'm not..
U make me pick up a habit which I kicked..
11:13 PM
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Day 40 (14/10/2007) Without Don Lim
Last friday I finally stepped into town..its something which I was thinking if I should go cos I was afraid of bumping into them..well alex insist I go and said "aiya wun bump into tat china gal 1 lah"..anyway after getting present we meet up with carol for dinner at vilage..well memories again..its somewhere we used to go in the past..next was ktv..was enjoying at the beginning but towards the end tink of him and feel rather emo again..
Yesterday (sat) went to pay respect to someone and I was rather glad..
Today slept till 10 only..watch scv..lunch..slag..chatted with a fren on msn..it has been a long time since I chatted with her on msn for so long cos she used to brain wash me on msn bout him and I would choose not to reply her..but still I know she is concern bout me and I appreciate tat..after 7 years we are finally back in contact but too bad the Anna that she sees now is leading such a painful life..no longer the happy Anna..still I treasure this frenship..thanks for standing by me silently too..
She and others are trying hard to pull me out of the hole but somehw I feel I'm sinking in deeper and deeper each day..its something tat I felt in me..
Do sushi in the afternoon..sushi was something I learned for the sake of him..and each time I miss him I would do sushi snap pictures of it and send it to him through mms..
"YOU SEEMS TO BE ENJOYING THE PAIN"
10:44 PM
