Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Yesterday after a talk with 1 of my fren, I finally really understand that in a relationship trust is most important. And its because of me initially losing the trust in him that cost all the things that are happening now.
After a thought, I realised I shouldnt have peep into his stuff, not because I dont want to feel jealous but because I finally understand that as a couple mutual trust is very important. I really shouldnt have done so. Really shouldnt have to peep to know the truth. Everyone have their privacy, and I am being disrespectful by doing so.
He told me yesterday that he had already lose confidence in both me and him. And he said lets see how it goes from now till our hong kong trip. I told him ok. (I prayed hard we will be fine.)
I dont know why every time this kind of things always happen during his exam. I'm sorry.
Everyone out there, do not suspect your the other half, as suspect is the biggest disease and trust is the best medicine.
My Dear, Don in any case if you were to came across my blog (quite impossible), I hope that you will give both you and me another chance. A chance for me to mend my ways. I really know what is trust now.
My trust for you are slowly building up and I know the trust you have in me are fading away. I apologised for causing the unhappiness in you and making you sad by not trusting you. And I know how it feels to be not trusted by your the other half.
Please I need the last chance and I will really cherish it.
Signing off,
Na.
8:52 AM
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Why do history repeat itself again. I thought history are history. Why do it happen again?
But come on wake up its really happening repeating now.
I knew something was fishy, otherwise he wouldnt sms people so frequently, treat me weirdly, seldom call me, whenever he is outside studying or doing project he doesnt pick up my call and tells me his hp is in his bag. But why let my sixth sense comes true. I rather my sixth sense was wrong.
Why let this befall me, I am so sad. Sad sad sad.
My Dear do you know how I feel? Have you ever consider my feeling? Have you try to put yourself in my shoes? Have you ever try to think for me. The kind of mental stress I am facing is super big. Is bigger then anything else. I really dont want such a thing to happen to us. Can we be like the past 1 or 2 years back.
Do you remember your smses to me, you told me you wouldnt hurt me anymore and it hurts you to see me cry. Have you forgotten everything? We actually have everything plan, to get married in 2008, do you remember?
I choose to forget about what I saw on your phone on last sunday because I know you are the one for me. The love I have for you is stronger than anything else.
Lets start anew please, let the trust in us build up.
Signing off,
Na
12:19 PM
I finally got to know the truth. To be frank to everyone I peeped into his hp to know the truth. Saw this stupid bitch sent him sms saying that she miss him so much. What the hell! And worse he saved that sms in his "My folder". At that very moment I just couldnt control myself, tears rolled down freely.
I have got loads of questions in my mind. So many whys in my mind. Who can answer my question?
When I told him I saw the sms in his hp I was ticked off by him. He said that why do I peep into his stuffs.
This bitch damn fuck up. To think that she actually know me and we are fren. Once she told me that she hate third parties and now she is one of them. Feel like giving her two tight slaps.
You fucking bitch, "lsy" I hate you to the core. I wish you will die soon. I wish you will fall to your death when you walk. I wish you will choke to death. Thanks for causing me so much hurt. You make me feel so sucky. You make me feel the whole world tumbling down and its heavy on my shoulder. You make me to be in super bad mood. You make me lose concentration on my work and studies. Why are you so bad? Have you ever consider yourself beening in my shoes, how would you feel?
Don I really love you, I want to be with you. Am I wrong? I always care for you. Whatever I do you are always in my thought. Why did you want to treat me this way?
My Decision: Now that I have know the truth, I choose to bear with everything because I really love him. I shall never peep into his hp since now I have know the truth because I dont want to feel the jealousy.
Will you please give it a thought? Please give her up. Will you will you will you?
signing off,
na
10:08 AM
Friday, February 23, 2007
After so many days of holidays now back to work totally no mood lor. Keep dozing off in office, slacking, surfing web, see my hp and most of all waiting for 6pm.
Yesterday saw something nice at m)phosis, its a jumper shorts but the sales girl told me sold out. Shit man. Was wondering raffles place might have but they are having sales and they dont even have the item there. Tomorrow shall call m)phosis main office to get all the branches telephone numbers and I shall call 1 branch by 1 branch. Hopefully my luck will be good.
Past few days eaten so much rubbish. Oh my goodness lor. Pineapple tarts, ba gua, egg row, all the new year goodies. Dinners after dinners, yummy food everyday. But now feel so "nei jiu", like eat too much already. Sign up california fitness also havent go. Think got to make some plan to go next week. I want to "jian fei". Really got to do something this time. Tomorrow onwards shall stop munching on all the new year goodies and start my diet plan. Hopefully I can do it this time. Haha.
Gdnite,
Na.
12:01 AM
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Just got to know that he actually plan to continue his degree in sim.
Well of course studies is good for him but here comes the main question.
"How about our marriage?" Isnt it suppose to be on 2008 and we even had our bridal package booked. I was full of hope and suddenly he told me that we shall married after his studies, which I counted and estimated to be 2011.
Goodness its 4 years from now, by the time we would already be together for 13 years.
Currently we are in our 9th years of relationship and frankingly speaking I really yearn to married him and I know he is the only one for me.
Actually by september 2007 he would have finish his diploma in sim and I thought we would be able to plan our marriage. Now its totally a question mark???. Probably I am too eager.
I shall still continue to pray, pray that he will propose to me this year. I really wish because I really love him.
signing off,
na
11:58 PM
