Monday, March 12, 2007
Sunday, stayed in his house untill 6+pm then went for dinner with his parents and after that me and him went for movie/just follow law at tampines mall. The show was funny, its a different fann wong. Hahaha, its been a long time since I really laugh so happily. But afer the show its still that sad Anna.
2day my Dear showed me pictures of a little shih tzu, goodness its so cute. I wish I can have it. Its selling for a price of 950. Wow thats really expensive but I really love it. Dear say no cannot buy. Haiz. Though I am scare of dog but this time I really want to try having it, I dont mind being bitten by them. Haha. Hopefully he will change his mind.
2day when I was in Dear's Mummy car I realised our tiffany ring was missing on my finger. I was shocked and worried. Almost lost for words. Lucky Dear remember about the cling sound we heard in the car. Phew, it was below the car seat. Luckily manage to find it, otherwise I think I will cry, not because it was a tiffany ring, but because it was a ring which Dear bought. Got to protect it and make sure it wouldnt happen again. The kind of worried-ness really got into my mind at that moment.
2day china supplier came to Singapore, went dinner with him, Dear and Dear's parent. Yummy japanese food but of course it cost a bomb.
Dear sent me up to my house and I told him if he calls and sms her everyday he got to be fair to me. He said he never. Ask him if he going out he suan me say need to report strength a not. Haiz last time I dont usually ask. But well guess because of her presence make me wanna ask. Ask him reach home sms me he say ok. 1hr+ later see he havent reach home I guess he must have went out. Going out seriously is not an issue to me. But whom he meets is the issue. I guess he went to look for her, cos I sms him twice and I havent seen his reply. Recently he hasn't been replying me, makes me think badly lor. Haiz.
Hopefully what I guessed are wrong. I will wait till he reach home. Is he gonna tell me the same reason, never bring hp, hp low batt, hp silent mode.
I feel so terrible in me, was wondering if he ever put himself in my shoes?
I did tried to put myself in his shoes thats why I finally understand the kind of feeling one might have if your the other half doesnt trust you.
Life is so unfair.
I knew he called her everyday and sms her everyday. He is so unfair to me I dont get a single call dont get a single unless I sms him. Where do I really stand? Do I have a place actually? Whats wrong with me? Why wanna treat me this way? Why did all this have to happen? Am I really irritating to you? Just why did we become like this? Where is the old Don that I used to know, the one that love me so much, dotes on me so much, care for me so much? Just where are you????????
This guy Don Lim really is the love of my life.
I really need you in my life, need you to shower me with your love. Need you to be part of my life. Every time when I look at you I cant help myself but feel the love I have for you. Seeing you sleep so soundly next to me I feel so contented.
I promise I will never peep and to trust you. I learned from the mistakes and will never let it happen again.
I hope you are safe and sound cos your safety is my concern.
signing off,
Na
10:43 AM
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Friday he was suppose to meet me but whole day didnt get his sms or call. Haiz. Sad sad sad. Bet he must be with her. What can I do? Doubt there is anything I can do. Haiz haiz haiz. End up met up with carol for dinner and chat session at nydc.
In the end couldnt finish what we order. Saw eliza at hmv, she was with her friends. Was waiting for bus 7 at 11+pm and lucky its the last bus. i got it. Hahaha.
Saturday,met up with carol at 7pm to head down to weiqiang birthday, chalet at tanah merah. Food wasnt bad actually consider good lah. And this wilson drink non-stop since me and carol arrive. It was a fun filled nite, blackjack and cordon bleu + pepsi (Well mix by weiqiang). alex kind enough to wanna help me finish my drink but I finished it myself. Glasses after glasses. Face turned super red lor but I am definately not drunk. Actually I wish I could be drunk then I would be able to have a peaceful sleep. My mdis guys are funny and damn lame lor. Talk rubbish throughout lor. Just when we girls went into the cab and wilson was already vomitting lor. Vomit still wanna go mos lor. Think dont club on weekend he and alex will die lor.
After a fun-filled nite I am now at Dear house, back to reality I am feeling sad and strating to think about those rubbish. Whenever I am alone I always think about the relationship between me and him. My Dear can you leave her please, I beg you. Love for you is really deep.
He isnt at home. He went to malaysia with guowei and guys. Think probably wouldnt be back so early. Five days never see him already leh and I really miss him loads but I guess I wasnt in his mind at all. Haiz. Think only tomorrow when I open my eyes then will see him next to me. Gdnitez to myself.
signing off,
Na
1:08 AM
Friday, March 9, 2007
Today I just felt that my life suckz.
I dont know why my Dear bear to treat me this way. I treat him as my everything and yet what I get back in return is a broken heart. Its only another 18 days to our hong kong trip, I want us to enjoy the trip but in order to enjoy I wish that he will tell me himself that he is willing to give her up.
I was thinking if I should ask him about me, him and her but I dont know if I should. but how can he have 2 gf at a time.
I am really hurt this time, crying seems nothing to me. Tears after tears. Simply feel that its so screw up. Why aren't you loving me like the past. Each time I think about it I teared. I just cannot believe that this is really happening to us. Can it be a dream and someone please wake me up from it?
I really dont know of I should ask? But I dont want him to 2-timer. In fact I guess everyone know what is the answer I am looking for. He means a lot to me and I really love him so much. I am willing to sacrifice anything for him.
For You:
I, Ng Hui Nee, take you Lim Chao Qun Don, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part.
Things really could have been easier if you are willing to.
signing off,
na
12:07 AM
Friday, March 2, 2007
Last saturday went out with my friends for dinner, a drink and movie. Stayed over at Dear house and when I reached his house at 3+am realised Dear and his Daddy both at home yet. Come to think that his Mummy must be feeling bored the whole day since nobody accompany her. Actually I wanted to accompany her but think my sms to my Dear did not went through untill at night so he didnt help me to arrange with his Mummy.
She is a nice Mummy though sometimes a little naggy. But which Mummy in the world dont nag. She always shared her problems with me and I am always ready to be her listening ear. Probably because she got no daughter thats why I know and sense that she dotes on me and treat me good. I wanted to tell her that she can call me on weekends if she need someone to accompany her but I havent do so. A bit pai seh though I am close to her.
My Dear edited his friender profile today, he said if possible he want to leave this place for good then so that he wouldnt hurt anyone. If he leaves I will leave too. Theres no point for me to stay if he isn't around. Life would be no meaning. I'm serious. At times I really thought of leaving for good then he wouldnt be bothered woulnt be vex. If I am really not around he can be with her and he wouldnt have this kind of thinking anymore. Knowing how he feels I felt so sad, once again I teared because it hurts me to see him having this kind of thinking. Why aren't we the same happy couple we used to be? Is it worth it because of lsy? If one fine day, I'm gone I guess you will know the reason why.
I have loads of things to tell you. At times you may see or think that I looks ok but deep in me I'm sobbing terribly. I'm actually crying everyday escpecially when I thought of you. The love I had for you is really deep, do you know? I even feel that I am a burden to you and bringing you nothing but worries. I feel so screw up every now and then. Life sucks now. I feel so stress up, feel that everything is on top of me and its heavy and I am almost tumbling down.
Things could have been easier if you are willing to give her up. Could you please give it a good thought. And we could be like the past where we share all the happy moments.
signing off,
Na
9:07 AM
