Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Yesterday night I message him to send me a picture of himself, he asked me for what, I told him "miss you..want to see you.."
He sent me and I cried from 10+pm untill 12+am. I was listening to 爱很简单 and memories kept flashing through my head. The times that we had together, be it out for movies, shopping, dinners with our families, meet up with frens or even just plain slacking at his house, the laughters that we had, everything was beautiful. I know there is nothing I can do but my mind is really full of him. Each time when I recall I would cry. I know crying wouldnt solve the issue but I am a woman, a emotional freak woman.
Frens kept telling me, dont think too much, sleep early, keep yourself busy, dont sms him. But sad to say I can do non of the above. I keep thinking, couldnt sleep, no mood to work and I still sms him. I thanked those who stand by me, primary school frens, secondary school frens, mdis fren, other frens, my families and my Dear's families and aunties. I know everyone care for me and same as me wish we would carry on the relationship. But decision doesnt lie on me now, eveything lie
in his hands, to let this relationship continue or to destroy it.
This morning his Mummy came into office with a bag of my clothings.
She asked if did I ask him to pack? I told her no, again my uncontrollable tears dropped.
She told me his Daddy just talked to him on last sunday but I didnt ask how the talk goes. Later of the day I might ask his Mummy about the talk they had with him.
His Mummy told me she cooked fish porridge and ask me must eat dont disappoint her cos she already expect I definately wouldnt eat. What she had said to me, ask me dont disappoint her I feel bad cos I know she is worry about me and her son. And I know she hasn't been living a happy life for the past few months.
But I really got no appetite again.
My heart was like tearing terribly. I really feel like going into hiding. I am afraid. I dont wish all this to happen. Can we turn back time?
I looked through the bag, it was those clothings that I wear more frequently.
I asked myself does it mean anything or it was only because he scare I got no clothings to wear? Cos those clothes that I seldom wear, clothes that are for normal wear in his house, sleeping clothes and undies was not return back. Hopefully it was only he worried I got no clothes wear. I guess the seperate period will be at least 1 month.
I have been going around to pray, praying that things would be fine. May my prayers be answered. **alinna, my super good fren for almost 11 years, thank you for always standing by me. The consoles that you gave I really appreciate it. If anything were to happen to me I am sorry. Thanks for bringing me to the thai temple and may my prayers be answered. I'll never forget you for the rest of my life and I know you are a true fren to me.
11:01 AM
