Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Today was his last paper for his diploma course. In the past I would be happy for but now I've got this mix feeling in me.
knowing that he will have more time for that gal makes me felt so sad. finishing his exams means in a week or two he would be coming back to office for work and also definately he will have the time to think it through which gal he would choose. should I ask him the question? seriously I'm afraid of the answer. I know I am actually running away from it but the thought of leaving someone that you love so dearly is really super painful.
Thinking back the friendster comments really hurt me deep enough. I dont know how to face his cousins. makes me feel like just deleting my friendster account.
Nowadays often dreamt of him. I really miss him and always have the idea of hugging him and cry out all I want and after that everything will be solve. I cant live my life without him just loves him too much...
How can a gal be so cruel to snatch him away? Didnt she think of that guy current gf? she knew he has got a gf and moreover she knew the guy current gf, how can she do that? I cant imagine really cant. its so bad and I swear I can never do this to anyone.
My birthday 15/09 is coming soon and I can say that for the past 23 birthdays I had this is the most terrible pre-birthday feeling I had cos I dont know would he still be the one celebrating for me?
Pls never leave me.............................I cant move on without you
8:25 PM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Times really flies...its already more than 9 months in such a situation...
what the hell!!!
Past few months there was so many comments from him to her and vice versa.
Haiz today saw another comment he just wrote for that f***ing bitch and vice versa. Felt so humilated. Was I in his mind when he wrote those? All that he had wrote was definately seen by many. Imagine his cousins everyone knew about it and no one ask. Wow piang feel like digging a hole and hide in it. No face leh. Am I transparent? Is my presence there?
What have I done to deserve all this rubbish...f***ing hell!!!...so furious! so sad! so disappointed!!!...
I waited through the 9 months and everyday was like living hell...was like a walking zombie...been late for work everyday..keeping myself away from lotsof frens...is this me??? It isnt lor...ahhh! Damn sad.
Thought of smsing him but the fact that he is having exam for his last sem next week.
I dont wanna affect his studies...haiz anyway will affect him meh...doubt so...
Decided to ssk him after his exam, but what will be his answer? I guess should be a negative one. Haiz how am I gonna go through? Its really damn bloody painful and I am 100% hurt...where is the Don that I used to know?
But I can say that after so much I still loves him as much...
Lost...Lost...Lost
10:52 PM
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Been ages since i last blog...
Well things still the same...he's not back yet and I'm still waiting...
12:14 AM
